I know it’s a weird title to find in the ‘Soul Food’ section right? Bear with me…
Finsbury Park has been a regular underground stop for me for the past 15 years now, and more recently, a source of inspiration for this article.
I was coming through there the other night and I was just admiring the tile work in the walk way going out of the station. I was thinking how much of a difference the new tiles had made to the appearance of the station. I remember it being quite dingy and it had uneven flooring when I first used to go there, and when it rained… Leaks everywhere! Sometimes they even had to close certain exits from the station. Most inconvenient at times I must say. It must have been a good while since it had a bit of decorating, a lick of paint. I used to see other stations on my travels that were working on improvements and then I’d return to good old Finsbury Park and feel my ankle buckle unexpectedly in one of the uneven parts in the floor and think “gosh this place could do with a makeover.” It took a good few years, but lo and behold, not so long ago, they did it. New tiles, new ticket machines at the back, even flooring (NB. I am a very interesting person still. I didn’t give up on life to inspect tube station décor without pay! I just notice things. Loool). A few simple changes really did give the place a lift and bring the place up to speed with the regenerating area surrounding it. Until one day when the rain came down…
So I’m on my way to a special meeting in the place I love, the UCKG HelpCentre HQ, the Rainbow Theatre, and I’m rushing (as usual) and it’s raining. I’ve had a little shelter whilst being underground and now it’s time to race out of the nearest exit to my destination when I find that particular exit cordoned off and staff telling me that I must walk half way around the building to another exit and make my way from there. There was severe leaking. In true UK style, it wasn’t the last time that the rain fell like that, and every time that the rain gets a little too much, this happens again and again. They’ll try mopping, buckets, but eventually, it’s just not safe for the public. All that new décor was just a superficial make over as they obviously had not dealt with the plumbing. It seems like such common sense for me that if I have a plumbing issue and a decorating issue, I’d better solve the plumbing issue first. If not, it could potentially destroy the new decoration anyway.
I was thinking how I was, and many people I know are like Finsbury Park Station; all re-decorated but the real issue remains undealt with. How do you know the real issue remains untouched? Because when it rains… boy oh boy!
They shut down or blow up. It’s not safe for people to approach and be with them and after every “episode” they insist on “mopping up” and pretend like nothing ever happened. Until the next time…
Why go through the hassle right? When it’s so logical to deal with first things first. The answer is because at the time it seems easier, less messy and at least you know what you are dealing with on a superficial level. On a day to day basis things are generally okay, but every so often something happens to remind you that all is not well. I believe that these are opportunities presented to us to deal with the real issue, but not everybody takes them. The other trouble is, the more we invest in this façade, the more we feel that that we stand to lose by admitting the truth; that inside something’s not right. Something’s missing or broken. Maybe you’re not even sure and this is why if you recognise any of this in yourself in anyway, you need help.
From a very young age, due to my own insecurities an issues, I kind of reconciled in myself that I was alone in the world and that even though I really wanted people around me, I could do without them if needs be, especially to confide in. I buried a huge amount of feelings and fears deeeeeep inside. Sometimes I didn’t really know what was up, but I thought it best to leave it alone. I knew that I hated to feel vulnerable and that’s what opening up to those who wanted to help felt like so I didn’t want to go there. The spiritual advisors and youth leaders always checked on me and offered a supportive ear and I learned to speak, but only so much. I learned to pray and I talked to God, but again, only so much. I changed, I grew up and I gained a lot of experience to live a positive life, but every so often a situation would arise that would remind me that there was something else in the background and I wasn’t all together, but the thought of opening up that can of worms was too much. No. I’m fine. I have my faith.
To cut a long story short, I eventually took my opportunity (thank God I still had another one) and I went through the somewhat uncomfortable, but necessary digging to get to the cause of my “flooding.” With the help of many people I believe that were sent straight from God, I made sense of things and now I’m working on the décor again; always improving. The thing is, maybe what Finsbury Park station needs is to be shut sown partially or fully so that they can call a team of specialists (beware of “cowboys!!”) who can investigate, diagnose and solve the problem once and for all. An initial inconvenience for long term results.
It’s the same with us. Maybe what you need is to find out why you always need to be in a relationship and you can’t be by yourself or why you compromise yourself in every relationship so he won’t leave you. Maybe if you dig you will find out why it’s so hard for you to show love to your partner and why you won’t allow your siblings to be close to you. There’s a reason behind of all our behaviours; some more serious than others, but we must know ourselves, so we can build in the right way from a firm foundation. I don’t consider myself the finished product. No way! We are always growing and learning. The difference is that now I know that I’m building right. There’s no more skirting around the issue or mopping up after breakdowns. I’d probably consider myself to be having a bit of scaffolding up right now (LOL), while some works are being done, but the results will be lasting and admirable.
Woman to woman, there are so many ladies walking around like this and it takes its toll. There are certain things that you can deal with alone, but others require help and good support. I will forever recommend the UCKG HelpCentre for this kind of work. Never have I found a place so supportive, encouraging and so open. You will find help, not judgement and sometimes you need someone who has nothing to do with your life to give you an objective perception. At times it seems that they want your success more than you and nothing is too much as long as it is to bless your life. The perfect rehabilitation centre.
So if you see yourself like Finsbury Park station you can visit the website to find a UCKG near you. Alternatively, you can always inbox us, the Purple Touch on Facebook and we will be more than happy and willing to help.