Don’t get me wrong. My wedding day was a dream come true. I dreamed of it for years. I sacrificed for it. I worked for it and as I looked into my husband’s eyes and promised to love and respect him for the rest of my life I thought I would burst for joy. We were pronounced husband and wife before God and man. I was living my dream as what I had only seen with my eyes of faith was now happening for real. We went on a wonderful honeymoon that I will remember for the rest of my life and then we came back. On our first Sunday back at church I was still beaming (and I still am). I was a wife!! In a certain moment in the service the time was dedicated to prayer (hold your horses and read on before you think I’m getting religious!). This moment is one I cherish as I’m given the opportunity to have my own encounter with my Creator and pour out what’s in my heart. It was during this moment that I was reminded… There really isn’t anything better than this. Not even getting married!
We human beings are very deep indeed. Sometimes we are feeling or thinking things that we can’t put into words. Sometimes people try their hardest to understand because they care, but they never quite ‘hit the nail on the head.’ Others take us the wrong way and don’t bother listening to the rest. Sometimes we have things deep inside that we can’t even make sense of yet and can’t even begin to express to even ourselves let alone anyone else. How do you express to all those who know you to be strong, that you feel weak? How do you explain to those who know you to be tough, that you’re hurting without exposing the vulnerability that you’ve fought so long to hide? Who do you tell when you are known as “Miss Got it Together,” that you are about to fall apart without judgement? Even if you are one of the few that could name some people in answer to these questions, I can guarantee you that even if you have someone to tell, they will never be your permanent solution. This freedom to ‘let it all out’ can be found in a moment of solitude between just you and God.
No ‘Hail Marys’ or ‘Our Fathers.’ No obligatory standing with hand on heart or holding of beads and statues. No. Just a moment where you are alone and comfortable, where you close your eyes and just talk to God. No religiosity necessary. Pour out what’s inside; from the argument that you shouldn’t have had with a colleague to your inner most fears. Talk with trust and faith that He’s listening (because He is) and that He is able to help (because He is!). You don’t need to be anything for Him. Just you. In this moment you are not a mother, a secretary, ‘the strong one,’etc. You are a child before the most loving, accepting and caring Father there is. Ever wish you could be a child again? For someone to carry you and take away, for just one moment, the burden of responsibility, relationships and constantly being on demand? That wish becomes reality in this moment of sincerity and “real talk” between you and your Creator. Not only do you literally feel good for off loading, but you start to experience something amazing.
You feel, not a mere emotion, but something that comes from deep inside. A love that you’ve never experienced in your life; not only from Him to you, but once you have this experience, you want more and you begin to experience from you upwards because you get to know Him more. You are stronger not only because you are no longer burdened, but also because He makes you so. As a result of these things you seek more because you can’t live without these precious moments that you have. You know that this is what you’ve been looking for all your life and wonder how you lived so long without it. You are now complete.
Nothing takes the place of moments like these, not even your biggest dream. If you achieve your biggest dream before ever experiencing what I’ve done my best to describe, believe me, if you’re not feeling this already, you are soon going to realise that the joy doesn’t go as deep as you hoped or dreamed. If you are reading this after you’ve had an encounter like this then like me, everything else that you conquer falls in line far behind your relationship with God. That’s when you change from inside out, not to fall in line with some religion. After this kind of experience how can you not change?
Since I developed a relationship with God of my own, I always knew that there was nothing better than knowing for yourself and not via a third party, who God is. However, here He was proving it when He didn’t have to. My marriage is a blessing and a half, but it’s not everything to me, it’s not ALL that. He is.
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